Untitled
by Jazzysauce
Summary: Percy Jackson, an agent of SHIELD, was at his ground base when the Tesseract exploded. How does his presence affect the events of the Avengers movie? Rated T for language because Tony. Won't just be a rewrite of the movie with Percy saying some of the lines, the events will change. Same beginning and destination, different path taken to get there.
1. Chapter 1: Rudolph Lights Up My Room

**UPDATE: I REALIZED I FORGOT TO EDIT. REALLY EMBARRASSING. OOPS.**

**A/N: This is ignoring anything HOH and beyond for Percy Jackson. Considering I never read those... Yeah.**

**Disclaimer (for the whole freaking story. Yes, I'm doing that.): I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS OF EITHER PERCY JACKSON SERIES OR THE AVENGERS. I ONLY OWN THE IDEA. EVEN IF IT WAS DONE BEFORE, I SWEAR I HAVE NEVER READ THAT FIC.**

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It was a pretty normal day for Percy Jackson, Agent of SHIELD.

That is, until the stupid Tesseract decided to start acting up. He had run in as soon as he heard. The scientist, Selmer or something, told him that the Tesseract was misbehaving, and all he could think of was a temperamental child that he could make sit in the corner. And when Loki stepped through the portal, it only reinforced his thoughts, replacing the temperamental child with the god. Yeah, he knew of the Asgardians and their godly powers. He was just that awesome.

So anyways, Percy was imagining the god pouting in a chair facing a corner with his arms crossed when Loki (the name _still_ didn't make sense to him. The guy didn't _seem_ to be very low key) started going crazy and shooting at everyone with his scepter (not a spear, Fury). That was new. Then again, so were the reindeer horns. Then, when everyone was down or dead, the reindeer lacking some Christmas spirit went over to Agent Barton, the Hawkeye. Percy never knew him really well, even though they both worked under Phil Coulson, but he knew _of_ him. Heck, _everyone_ did. Him and Black Widow were two of the most well known Agents they had, them and Riptide (hmm... Wonder who that could be?). Loki was steps away from Barton when the agent whirled around and tried to shoot him, but the god grabbed his hand. He said something to Barton before touching his heart with the point of his weapon, making the agent stand down. That was _definitely_ new. Percy shook his head to clear it, pushing himself up and reaching his hand into his pocket. Loki saw the movement and whirled around, glaring thoughtfully. He sniffed the air slightly and his glare intensified.

"Demigod," he muttered. "What are you doing here, son of Poseidon?"

"Oh, you know," Percy replied in a falsely flippant voice. "Just the usual, fighting evil thing." In one smooth motion, he pulled out his pen and uncapped it, feeling Riptide grow in his hand. He'd had Leo add bits of adamantium into the blade when he accepted the job as a SHIELD agent, enough to affect a mortal. He also asked for a few (hundred) bullets made of half celestial bronze and half... umm... whatever bullets are made of. He dropped in a defensive position.

Loki laughed. "You think you can stop _me_, petty mortal?" He slowly stalked towards Percy.

"I think you forgot the fact that I'm half god," Percy retaliated. He punched the god square in the nose when he was close enough, causing it to spew blood everywhere. "There you go!" Percy exclaimed brightly. "_That's _more like the Rudolph I know!"

The angered god roared as he lunged for Percy, but Barton stopped him. "Sir, he's stalling. Fury's getting away," the agent said, pointing towards Fury who was packing up the Tesseract. Then he added, "The roof's about to collapse, also."

With a final snarl towards Percy,who smirked in response, Loki whirled around and sent a blast towards Fury. Barton snatched up the case holding the Tesseract and they sped out of the room. Percy immediately capped Riptide and ran over to the director. "Are you alright?" he asked as he helped Fury to his feet.

"We have to get the Tesseract," was his only response.

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**A/N: I think that's pretty sufficient for a first chapter. I need some help before I continue though. First of all, do you like the way I'm writing this? It feels pretty mechanic to me, but that might just be me. And second, do you want Percy to go on the Hellicarrier? I think I've made my decision already, but I haven't written anything else yet, so I'd like your ideas and why. OH YEAH. I need a title. Any suggestions?**

**I don't intend to abandon this fic. I know how it feels when people abandon a fic. IT SUCKS. But I have school and marching band and indoor percussion and basketball pep band now along with being official scorekeeper for my brother's hockey team (I write down penalties and goals and who did them) and I'm starting to look at colleges so I'm kind of busy. I'll update whenever possible but understand if I lose inspiration for this fic. I'll get it back eventually though. This one seems promising to me.**

**P.S. If anyone here likes Clint's character as much as I do when he's not brainwashed, check out Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Hansel is played by the same actor as Clint (Jeremy Renner) and the role has the same dry sarcasm. Gretel's pretty awesome too. It's on Netflix if you have that. Honestly, I've watched that movie 4 times in 3 days. While I was at my grandparents' house. FOR THANKSGIVING. It also has a lot of action. AND GORE. INCLUDING GUTS EXPLODING AND PEOPLE BEHEADED AND HEADS SQUISHED ON THE SCREEN. I HAVE WARNED YOU.**


	2. Chapter 2: I Go To See The Doctor

**A/N: PAIRINGS. I forgot to mention this last time, but I _suck_ at writing romance, so there won't be any prominent pairings. I kid you not, when I try, it's like one minute they're strangers, then BAM! They love each other and are getting married in a week. Anyways, I don't want to ruin anything. Second, to the Percabeth fans, I don't think Annabeth will be in this fic. But I'll use what the great god of writing, Rick Riordan, gave to me and stick with it. In other words, background Percabeth.  
**

**And thank you soo much to all the people who followed/favorited/reviewed!**

**Also, a****s soon as I get a good title idea, that will become the title. Untitled is so. Freaking. Cliche. And boring.**

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_Slash. Roll. Stab. Finnish._

Percy cleanly took care of yet another training dummy, looking back at the trail of destruction he left in his wake. Heads of training dummies lay strewn around the room, their bodies slashed to ribbons. He was in the training room of the Hellicarrier, which, even though it was in the water currently, could and would fly with him on it. Into Zeus' territory. It's not like he _wanted _to be there. Fury had made him come onto the floating fortress, saying that he needed his best with him. Also, as Fury pointed out, it wasn't like he had a base to go to anymore. Because it was blown up. Percy was so going to kill that son of a bitch god.

"You know, it'd be nice if you left some dummies for the people who can reuse them," a voice from behind him speculated. Percy was turned around in a second, sword ready to attack and shield spiraling out of the new watch Tyson had made for him with the help of Leo. When he saw Phil Coulson, his handler, in front of him, he immediately relaxed, though he didn't cap Riptide.

"What's up, Phil?" Percy asked casually. Even though he had only been with SHIELD for three years now, the two were pretty close. Phil took Percy under his wing when Annabeth died. He had been so lost without her, but with his new friend, Percy also found a new home.

Phil got straight to the point. "Fury wants you to take care of Dr. Banner when he arrives. Help him find his way around."

Percy nodded. "That, I can do," he agreed.

~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~ Books or movies? ~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~

Percy stepped out into the fresh scent of ocean air, its saltiness making him smile instantly. After a moment, he opened his eyes, calmer than he'd been in months. He found his way over to Bruce Banner, who was stumbling around, looking lost. "Dr. Banner," Percy called. The doctor looked over with a relieved sort of smile on his face.

"Uh, hi," he greeted awkwardly. "Do you, uh, know where I should go?"

Percy smiled his goofy smile. "There's no need to be nervous, Doc," he reassured, leaning against the nearby jet with his arms crossed. "You're safe here."

"Dr. Banner," another voice greeted. Percy turned to see Agent Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, and Captain America walking up to them. Percy stared at the captain, wondering how if felt to be frozen like an icicle for 70 years, while he stuck his hand out to Bruce.

"Oh yeah," Bruce said, accepting the hand. "They told me you'd be here.

"Word is you can find the Tesseract," Steve continued.

"Is that the, uh, only word on me?" the doctor questioned.

"Only word I care about," Uncle Sam answered. Percy frowned. That was kind of rude. He was pretty much saying that he didn't care about the friendly doctor at all, only finding the stupid cube that Rudolph the red nosed reindeer took. Percy knew that cube was bad news. He could feel it. And his instincts were usually right. But he also knew it was even worse news in the hands of Loki.

"Gentlemen," Natasha interrupted, breaking his thoughts. "You might want to step inside in a minute. It's going to get a little hard to breathe."

The engines started to whir to life, and Percy sent a quick prayer to Zeus, promising to give him an offering as soon as he could. And his next ten offerings. "Really," he heard Bruce saying, "they want _me _in a submerged pressurized vehicle?" As the Hellicarrier rose a few feet from the surface and hovered to let the water drain from the engines, he let out a crazed grin. "Oh no, this is _much_ worse!" Percy couldn't contain a grin, he really liked this guy's sense of humor.

~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~ Favorite PJO pairing? ~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~

Natasha lead the newcomers and Percy through the flying fortress to the main control room. Steve wandered around in amazement before stopping to give Fury a ten. Bruce, meanwhile, turned away from anyone who could be looking at him. When Fury engaged Bruce in conversation, Percy turned to Betsy Ross' fashion model.

"What?" Percy asked simply. When the captain looked confused, Percy elaborated, "You were staring at me the entire way here. I know you're dying to, so ask away."

"When did you join SHIELD?"

"Three years ago, when I was 17," Percy answered. He looked down uncomfortably. "Phil found me wandering through the streets. He talked to me for a bit, and ended up offering me a job here. He took me in, took care of me, and I just needed to get away for a while." Percy glanced up and narrowed his eyes when he noticed the pitying look Steve shot him. "What?" he asked defensively.

"Why do they always start so young?" Steve muttered under his breath before letting out a long sigh. "You shouldn't have to fight this, kid."

"Trust me," Percy said darkly, "I haven't been a kid in a long time."

"But- but you're so young!"

"I may be 20, but I can bet with confidence that I've been through more than you could even imagine, Uncle Sam."

"Have you ever been in a war?" the captain asked skeptically.

Percy snorted. "Try two wars and a trip to Hell," he challenged. Percy was out of the room before Steve could even think to question his statement.

Suddenly, a tech announced, "We got a match, sir. 67%. Wait, cross match, 79%."

"Captain, you're up," the director ordered.

~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~ Best Christmas song? ~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~

Percy wandered the halls agitatedly, trying to forget the memories the good ol' Cap dredged up. Finally, he headed up to the deck. Leaning against the wall, feeling the wind, it all reminded him of the Argo II. The good days, when they were crossing the ocean. He could close his eyes and see Leo with his Wii remotes, and he could've sworn that was- No. He wouldn't think of her. Percy opened his eyes and saw Natasha striding towards one of the quinjets, the captain following her in full uniform. There would be only one reason they would be going out like that. They had found Loki and were going to get him.

And frankly, Percy was insulted that he wasn't invited.

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**Okay, I lied. And I'm sorry, but my brain comes up with these things without my permission and it just works because I was really getting into it and I thought "Hey, if Coulson took in Percy, that would give both a reason why Percy joined SHIELD and a reason for them to be so close" but I needed to give him a reason to need to be taken in and honestly who could just kill off Sally and her delicious blue cookies? Here's a hint: not me. In fact, I think I like Sally more than Annabeth. Anyways, that means no pairing except past Percabeth. Okay then, now that that's cleared up.**

**Any questions you have, ask. I'll answer the best I can.**


	3. Chapter 3: Gold-Titanium Alloy Man

**I am bamboozled by the response this is getting. (Not even sure if that's the correct use of the word. I just felt like using it.) 222 follows, 113 favorites, and 46 reviews. That's freaking awesome for me, in case you haven't noticed. Thanks for those of you who have stuck with me through this the entire time, or even those of you who bothered to read this far. Whatever works for you.**

**Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. It's kind of long. 5,146 words including the author's notes to be exact. Also some stuff happened that distracted me for a bit near the beginning of January. And Indoor Percussion is getting intense. We had our first competition February 1, and every other weekend since we've had a competition on Saturday and Sunday. We went almost the whole season undefeated in OIPA (we got bumped to open class a week before champs, so we were swinging a bit blindly there) and have only lost twice in WGI. If we're ever gonna make it to World Finals, it's gonna be this year.**

**Did you know: to type a music note on a computer using keyboard shortcuts, you type alt 13 or alt 14. Found out accidentally, but it's still fun.**

**Song of the chapter (because why not): Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon.**

**Quote of the chapter (betcha didn't expect that): "The best number is 73. Why? 73 is the 21st prime number. It's mirror, 37, is the 12th, and it's mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying, hang on to your hats, 7 and 3... In binary 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001." -Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory, 73rd episode.**

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Percy shifted around on Blackjack's back, trying to get comfortable. His butt was numb after sitting in the same position for what had to be at least five hours by now. _Actually, it's only been 30 minutes,_ Blackjack informed him. The horse was shaking slightly under him, throwing his head back slightly. _Are you kidding me. The freaking horse is laughing at me. How could my life get any worse. _Of _course,_ this only made Blackjack laugh even more, snorting hysterically. "Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want," Percy muttered sarcastically. "I'm so glad I could provide entertainment for you."

The two were flying above the quinjet carrying Romanoff and the captain. Considering that Percy had no clue _where_ Loki was found, he couldn't exactly fly ahead. He wasn't really sure if he _wanted_ to either. This guy was like him, a demigod, except with a lot different powers. More like Hecate's cabin. And Percy was practically defenseless against Lou Ellen's magic. In any of their spars, the second he couldn't dodge a spell fast enough, he was pretty much already beaten.

So Percy hung back, following others. He wondered absently for a second if Fury would get mad at him for doing this. Fury always looked funny when he was mad. He had this one vein that always stuck out and throbbed like it was dancing. To put it simply, Percy always ended up laughing uncontrollably. Fury got so frustrated that he was "snickering when he was in trouble" that the director ended up handing the _privilege_ of scolding him over to Phil. Percy _really_ hoped this time was special enough to get the director's attention. He was so much more fun than any old agent (don't tell Phil he said that).

Suddenly, Percy realized that Blackjack was hovering in midair. _Finally!_ the pegasus exclaimed frantically. Percy looked under him to realize that they were right over a large crowd of people... were they _kneeling_? And then he saw Captain America fighting someone, presumably Loki. _i've been trying to get your attention for a while,_ Blackjack interrupted his thoughts. _You wanna go down, Boss?_

"Don't call me Boss," Percy groaned halfheartedly. But he steered Blackjack down in a steep dive, barely holding in a loud whoop, straight towards the fight. They pulled up high enough that Blackjack wouldn't be seen, which, considering how dark it was, wasn't that high up. Percy looked down again, to see if it would be safe to jump down, but he saw something else entirely. Uncle Sam was down on the ground, probably recovering from a hit, his shield clear across the clearing of people. And Loki was quickly approaching him, ready to take him out. He didn't usually swear, but only one word could describe the situation: _Shit_. Without even thinking about it, Percy pulled out his pen as he jumped off, ignoring Blackjack's distressed cry of _Boss!_, and uncapped his pen as he fell. He pulled some water from a nearby fountain, a barely noticeable amount, and used it to slow himself down, landing comfortably on the ground just in time to block the downward path of Loki's scepter (Fury) with his sword. The clanging screech of metal on metal was heard, causing Steve to look up in surprise. He determinedly pushed himself up and ducked away to his shield, strapping it on his arm. Only then did he let himself marvel at the fact that this ki- no, not kid, but _man-_ that he had thought would never even talk to him again, much less jump up to help him when he was down, was right in front of him, fighting expertly with a... a sword of all things.

Meanwhile, Percy was having the time of his life getting Loki riled up. "Hey, Rudolph! Remember me?" Percy grinned innocently. Or at least he tried to. Key part there being tried. It wasn't very innocent. "I see you lost some of your Christmas spirit again... Let me help you with that!" SNAP. The butt of Percy's sword slammed into the insane (and that's bad, coming from Percy) demigod's nose, once again causing blood to spurt out. Loki once again raised his hand tenderly to his nose, anger swirling in his eyes, and- well.

"There's no Barton to save you this time!" Loki roared. He raised his scepter in an offensive position, pulled back like he was going to stab it, and for the first time, Percy realized just how dangerous an opponent this guy could be.

But he just narrowed his eyes. "I would suggest you don't talk about him around me like that," Percy growled out shortly. He raised his sword defensively, but he wasn't exactly expecting Loki to shoot off a blast of magic. He instinctively blocked it with his sword, but- where did it go? There was no rebound of magic off of metal, no breaking sword because of the power. But... Percy grinned and raised his now glowing blue sword against Loki again. His sword _absorbed_ the energy blast, taking in its power for at least a short while. The demigod's magic didn't affect his sword anymore, so he could push easily against him now.

When Percy was giving Rudolph some time to get up, he heard strains of AC/DC playing, steadily getting louder as the source got closer, causing everyone to look up. Percy raised an eyebrow when a robo dude- presumably Iron Man- landed heavily on the ground and immediately pointed all of his weapons at Rudolph, red nose and all, and offered, "Make your move, Reindeer Games."

"it's obviously Rudolph, Stark, how could you miss that?" Percy cried in mock disbelief as Loki put his hands up slowly. He couldn't see anything through that mask, but he was almost positive that he heard a snicker.

"Mr. Stark," the captain, who had joined them after finally getting over his amazement, acknowledged.

"Captain," Tony replied tightly.

"Percy!" Percy yelled brightly. When the others looked at him, he pouted. "What? I was feeling left out."

**~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~ Did you hear the one about the 50 foot snake? ~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~**

"What the hell is a horse doing in here?" Tony exclaimed. He was, of course, talking about Blackjack, the _very much_ not-a-horse-but-Percy's-pegasus-friend-who-enjoyed-annoying-him. He was riding back with Percy in the quinjet, because, even for such a_ stubborn_ pegasus as Blackjack, it was exhausting, flying all the way to Germany in such a small amount of time. Percy was okay with flying in a plane because, one, he and Zeus had kind of gotten along better since he left camp (apparently he was easier to tolerate when he was out of sight and mind and had been for a while), and two, the biggest reason, the thunder god wouldn't dare zap him out of the sky when Blackjack was there. You know, the whole "you zap my son and I'll make another, you zap my sacred animal and World War III might start because of you" thing.

"Not a horse," Percy said simply before pausing to listen to Blackjack mentally reaming Tony out. _Stupid Tin Man doesn't have a heart or a brain, apparently._

"Really, Blackjack? Wizard of Oz?"

_What? It's a good movie!_ Percy shook his head with an exasperated fondness. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to know how the pegasus knew the movie reference. Somehow, he could already see the guy standing in the back of a movie theater, crunching on popcorn methodically stolen from random people's buckets.

"Did you just talk to the horse?" Tony asked incredulously.

"I will tell you one more time: Blackjack is not a horse." The animal stomped his hoof and snorted in agreement, throwing his head proudly. "He's a pegasus with a mouth worse than a sailor's." Blackjack snorted proudly.

"Yeah, sure. You expect us to not only believe that a creature such as a pegasus even _exists_, but that you _own_ one, you can _talk_ to it, and, just to add to the fun, it knows _every bad word there is_ in, what, two languages?"

"He's just really creative actually, but pretty much, yeah," Percy shrugged, looking at Blackjack.

Tony scoffed. "Not gonna happen, kid."

Percy raised an eyebrow. "First of all, it's gonna happen whether you like it or not. You're going to get to see a lot more if this fight is any indication of what will come. And you'll either go crazy trying to figure out how a horse is floating or you'll believe me that it's a pegasus. And second, I'm not a kid. Never call me that again."

Percy stormed up into the jet, followed shortly by Steve. They stood in an awkward silence for a few minutes while Loki was loaded onto the jet. Percy was surprised when Steve was the one who broke it.

"Thank you," he said quietly, looking at Percy. "You know," he hurried to explain himself, "for covering me back there. If it wasn't for you, I might be dead right now."

Percy raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Really, Uncle Sam? Dead? You might be a little worse for the wear, but you would have thought of something." He shifted his feet to shoulder width and crossed his arms, looking down slightly at Steve, for once, serious. "Never doubt yourself, especially in your thinking abilities. The brain is your greatest tool. Not believing in it might be your downfall."

Steve smiled in thanks briefly before frowning.

"What's up, Cap?" Tony asked as he practically strutted in.

"I don't like it," Steve muttered.

"What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily?"

"I don't remember it being that easy. This guy packs a wallop."

"Still, you were pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing? Pilates?"

"What?"

"It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle."

"He's right," Percy cut in, frowning thoughtfully. "Considering the fight he put up against me... I mean, granted, I _did_ insult him... And punch him in the nose... And he may or may not have had a previous grudge against me... But still!"

Tony stared at him in silence. It was strange enough as it is, but when the billionaire wouldn't stop staring, Percy started to fidget uncomfortably. Finally, Tony spoke. "You... Punched the mystical alien god of magic... In the nose?"

"Maybe?" Percy answered. "I was just helping Rudolph find his Christmas spirit." He breathed out a sigh of relief when Tony smiled childishly.

"You just keep getting awesomer!" he exclaimed. Lightning flashed outside suddenly, followed almost immediately by thunder. _That's funny..._ Percy thought. _I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything to piss off Zeus this time. _It seemed Percy wasn't the only one to notice. Loki was looking around nervously.

"What?" Steve asked skeptically. "Scared of a little thunder?"

"I'm not overly fond of what follows," the god of lies answered honestly.

Percy racked his brain of the little Norse mythology he knew. _Thunder... thunder... Thor! _He jumped when the jet shook, and Tony put on his helmet before walking over to open the door.

"Go ahead and open it, but whatever you do, _don't_ attack," Percy ordered. "This guy could be a friendly if we play it right." He moved to stand in between Loki and the hatch, uncapping Riptide as he moved. If he was lucky, the Asgardians told stories about other "mythologies" like they did. Thor _might_ just recognize him or his sword, and that could be the difference between starting a war with Asgard and becoming BFFs with aliens. Yes, those were pretty extreme, but Percy wanted to make sure he had all of his options covered.

What he did _not_ expect, however, was for Thor to completely fangirl over him.

It went something like this.

Thor landed heavily on the now-open hatch in a crouch, peering intently throughout the jet until he found Loki. As Percy was standing _right in front _of Loki, it was pretty inevitable that Thor would see him too. As Thor's eyes passed over him, he suddenly did a classic double take and _stared _at him, open mouthed and everything. The hammer that he had been holding threateningly a second before hit the ground with a thud.

And the guy squealed.

He freaking _squealed_.

Okay, not _really_, but still. He had gone on and on about what an _honor _it was to finally meet the great warrior Perseus Jackson, and _how did you defeat Kronos' army with only 60 warriors_, and _is it at all possible that we may spar sometime_. It was kind of weird actually.

When Percy finally managed to convince Thor that he was just a normal guy (for a demigod) and that the guy should just treat him as such, the big guy (and he was _big_), agreed to sit down for a bit to make negotiations. This is where Percy passed it on to the Cap, as he was bad at diplomatic _anything_. Instead, he sat next to Tony to wait it out, one foot resting quietly on the ground and the other crossed over the first, shaking in midair. He started tapping out a song he had heard somewhere on his legs, using his fingers as drum sticks.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked curiously. Percy started when he realized the billionaire was maybe two inches away from his face. He slowly scooted away inconspicuously (not) before answering Tony's question.

"I'm ADHD. I have to keep myself busy somehow. And reciting song lyrics in my head is reserved for missions when I have to stay still and quiet. Which, thankfully, doesn't happen often." Percy shuddered at the mere thought of it.

Tony raised an eyebrow slightly in mild surprise. "Why would SHIELD hire an ADHD k- I mean, uh, person?" he inquired.

Percy smirked smugly. "Do you have any idea what it does for my battle reflexes? Besides, that's not even all that bad. I'm also severely dyslexic. Which means I get out of doing all of my paperwork. Bonus!"

"Again. Why on earth would SHIELD hire you?"

"A few reasons," Percy finally explained. "For one, I was already trained in swordplay, wrestling, climbing, tactics, and archery was attempted. We had a few other activities at camp, but they weren't exactly my kind of thing. Another reason is I showed up with my own weapon."

"Yeah, where is that sword now, anyways?" Tony interrupted. "It's almost like it disappeared, but that's not possible."

Percy shook his head in disappointment. "Anything is possible, Tin Man. Including Mother Nature being evil," he muttered, ignoring quite successfully the sounds of Tony's protests. (If you don't like Iron Man, it's made of gold titanium alloy, not tin! At least be accurate!) "Anyways, they didn't need to waste any money training me in combat or giving me any weapons other than a few guns. I even got a few friends from camp to make me some special bullets. The whole spying area, now _that_ was an entirely different story. As of right now, I'm one of their best agents, so it's not like they're going to let me go just because it takes me an hour to fill out a form or two. Besides, I'm mostly a field agent. The only time I have to do paperwork at all is when Fury gets _really_ mad." Percy smiled in anticipation just thinking of that dancing vein.

Tony's face lit up with glee. "It's the vein, isn't it?" he guessed.

"Have you ever noticed that it discos?"

Tony snorted. Just then, Thor spoke rather loudly, for him at least. In other words, he would be heard over the loudest heavy metal concert ever. "I will join your cause, for it is a worthy one. But Loki goes with me to Asgard when we are finished."

"Shakespeare, anyone?" Tony muttered. Percy snorted, trying _extremely hard_ to not laugh, though his shaking shoulders probably gave it away.

"What?" Thor asked, looking thoroughly confused. "What is causing the young mortal to laugh?"

"Oh, nothing," Tony replied. "By the way, doth mother know you weareth her drapes?" he inquired. This sent Percy over the top.

**~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~ SNAKES DON'T HAVE FEET! Hehehe :) ~^~|~^~|~^~|~^~**

The five of them got out of the quinjet with Loki, Thor making sure their prisoner was taken care of. Percy mentally ordered Blackjack to go back to camp and rest. _You're gonna need it, bud,_ Percy told him when the pegasus whined about not ever being appreciated like he should be with a good dozen of his favorite Tim Horton's glazed donuts._ I have a feeling this is gonna get a lot worse before it gets better._ Blackjack flew off without complaint after that, sensing how serious Percy was.

While Percy went to the declared meeting table with the Captain and Natasha, Tony went a different way, to "take care of his baby" or something. (Honestly, Percy couldn't care less at the time.) Natasha pulled Percy aside by the wrist before they could get very far though.

"You were there when he took Clint," she said immediately. She was searching his face for something.

"Yeah," Percy admitted, looking down. "I didn't realize what was happening fast enough. The thing is, I kinda knew of the Asgardians and stuff before you guys did, and Loki isn't usually this... evil. And when he blew everyone back with his scepter, which was new, and started taking over people, which was definitely different, and everything was just so wrong, I only realized that hey, I should stop this guy after he took Agent Barton, and-"

To be honest, he was really glad Agent Romanoff cut him when she did. "Jackson," she said sharply. Percy looked up, shrinking back as much as he could. When she smiled, it kind of scared him more than before. "Thank you for trying," she said. Percy's mouth dropped to the floor. "And it's Natasha."

To say Percy was relieved was an understatement. He smiled back. "Then it's Percy."

Natasha lead Percy off to the meeting table, where they met the Captain, Bruce and Thor to discuss their plans, though Thor refused to sit down. _Probably because he doesn't want his dress getting wrinkled,_ Percy thought. He brought his attention to the screen showing the interrogation, or as Percy called it, The Intimidation, as Loki was lead into a large glass cell. The director spoke from the screen.

"In case it's unclear," he growled out, trying to intimidate Loki into submission, "you try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass." He pressed a button on his control panel, opening a gaping hole under the cell. Fury had to yell over the sound of wind whooshing in. "Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap." He closed the hole up. "You get how that works?" As if that wasn't enough, the oh-so-friendly disco pirate went on to point at Loki threateningly, saying "Ant." And again at his control panel, with a ground out "Boot." Percy snorted, recognizing the reference from his base. When the god blew it up.

Speaking of the god, he chose that moment to start laughing. "It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me."

"Built for something a lot stronger than you."

"Oh, I've heard." He started pacing the room and looked right at them. "The mindless beast, makes play to be the man. How desperate are you? That you call on these lost creatures to defend you."

"How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did," Fury threatened furiously.

"If it wasn't for that son of Poseidon and his experience in fighting, you would be flailing about, trying to stay on your feet on a floating log. Lucky for you he's already used to it." Loki sent a distasteful glance at the camera again, and the others looked at Percy questioningly. He kept his gaze pointedly on the screen. "It burns you to come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is."

Fury snorted. "Yeah, well, you let me know if Real Power wants a magazine or something." He walked out of the room, probably realizing that he wasn't going to get anything out of Rudolph.

"He really grows on you, doesn't he?" Bruce asked sarcastically.

"Reminds me of my Grandpa, actually," Percy agreed. "And my Great Grandma, for that matter."

Natasha stared. "What is wrong with your family?" she asked.

"Loki's gonna drag this out," Steve said, ignoring the three. "So, Thor, what's his play?"

Thor looked up. "He has an army called the Chitauri, that none of Asgard nor any world know. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

"An army, from outer space," Steve asked skeptically.

"It's not the craziest thing I've seen," Percy shrugged.

"So he's building another portal," Bruce reasoned. "That's what he needs Erik Selvig for."

"Selvig?" Thor asked.

"He's an astrophysicist."

"He's a friend."

"Sorry, Princess. Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with an agent," Percy said sympathetically. Not pitying though. He glanced at Natasha. But, as usual, nothing could get past her iron walls.

Thor opened his mouth, probrably to say something about how he was a prince, not a princess, but thankfully, Steve cut in then. "I want to know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here."

"I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him," Bruce reasoned.

"Have care how you speak," Thor thundered defensively. "Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother."

"He killed eighty people in two days," Natasha pointed out.

Thor shrugged. "He's adopted." Percy snickered at the excuse.

"Iridium," Bruce muttered, "what do they need the Iridium for?"

At that moment, Tony walked in with Phil. Percy smirked at how uncomfortable his handler looked. Tony was probably hassling him about that cellist again. "It's a stabilizing agent," he cut in. "Means the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at SHIELD. Also, it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants." He walked up to the monitors in the center of the room.

-[after asking one of the Carrier Bridge Techs to raise the monitors]

"That man," he announced, pointing at a young techie, "is playing Galaga!" _Come on, Mr. D,_ Percy thought, _now? Really?_ "Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did." Tony then proceeded to cover his left eye and look at all of Fury's monitors. "How does Fury even see these?" he asked curiously.

"He turns," Agent Hill answered from where she was watching them.

"Sounds exhausting." Thankfully, Tony let it drop at that. "The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube."

"When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?" Hill asked skeptically.

"Last night." When all he got in response were a few incredulous glances, he went on. "The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?"

"Yep," Percy muttered. Remembering what he said about his dyslexia, Tony smirked at him.

"Well, you're excused Hercie (hercky), but everyone else? Come on!"

Percy raised an eyebrow. "Hercie?"

"Yeah, isn't he that dude with the sword and the pegasus? I figured it'd fit."

"Maybe, but I don't like him. At all. I'd rather not be called anything to do with Heracles."

"Wow, what'd the guy do to you? Spit in your coffee?"

"No, I don't drink coffee." Cue the strange looks. "Do you _really_ want to give me coffee?" At this, everyone looked a bit closer at him, and they noticed that he was in fact turning side to side in his chair. Tony would even bet that his leg was jiggling again, like on the plane. They shook their heads slightly, and dropped the subject.

Shaking his head, Steve got them back on track. "Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?"

"He would have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," Bruce answered.

"Unless," Tony countered, "Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect."

"Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet."

"Finally! Someone who speaks English."

"Is- Is that what just happened?" Steve asked, confused. Percy almost laughed at the lost look on his face.

"It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner," Tony went on, ignoring Uncle Sam. "You're work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster."

"Uh, thanks." Percy could see the _I guess_ on the doctor's face.

"Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube," Fury reminded them, almost forcefully. "I was hoping you might join him."

"Oh, I'd love to. Let's play, Banner," Tony offered, stopping by Bruce's chair. The shy scientist was smiling widely as he moved to get up. But the geniuses were interrupted by a dragon.

Yes, a _freaking dragon_.

Because how could something ever go normal for more than an hour in the life of Percy Jackson.

And of course, to make his life even _better_, everyone had to rush up to the deck, so Percy had to follow them to make sure they didn't kill themselves.

The huge metal dragon was flying at the ship, seeming to fill up the sky as it grew closer and closer. Its metallic bronze hide seemed to reflect the sun at every angle, only succeeding in bring more attention to itself. The creature seemed to shake the entire Helicarrier when it landed as gently as it could on the deck, causing everyone except Percy to scramble back. Percy, meanwhile, had performed a rather magnificent face palm, dragging his hand down his face in exasperation. Smoke was billowing out of the dragon's joints, nostrils, the back of its head. A small boy was heard talking to the dragon, something along the lines of "It's okay, Festus. You did good. We'll get you fixed up in no time." The boy slid down, grinning maniacally. "Hey Percy!" he greeted. How are you!"

* * *

**Oh my gosh, so some of my friends and I may have accidentally (I swear, for once I didn't mean to!) convinced another friend that this one friend and yet another friend were twins. The best part is, they're in different years, they have different last names, the one moved in last year while the other moved in this year, and the only similarity is their looks, and even that's just barely, and he's still completely convinced they're twins. I was just joking around, honestly. But the result was (and still is) pretty freaking hilarious!**

**Does anyone understand the difference between views and visitors? It'd be great if you could explain it to me.**

**I'm not really proud with how this is turning out. It's good, okay, I'll agree with that, but it could definitely be much better. Especially since I planned for it to have more sarcasm and joking from Percy. I _will_ finish it, because as I said earlier, abandoned fics frustrate me to no end, but I will most likely rewrite it when I feel I can do better.**

**OH YES. I don't have a beta, so if anyone wants to volunteer, PM me. I probably won't actively search for one, but the help would be appreciated. Plus, it could give me ideas!**


	4. AN: Sorry

Gosh I apologize for the false alarm, I hate those, but I also like to know what's going on, and I feel like you guys deserve to know. So.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been caught up in random story ideas all summer, and my grandpa hasn't been doing so good, then band started, then my grandpa died, and now school started, so I have a total of 15 hours for homework, friends, and everything, for the entire week, and I'll pretty much be busy af until November, and I have no clue what's going on with my grandpa, so if I don't update for a while longer, please understand? Remember, I don't abandon! This isn't done yet!

-Jazzysauce


	5. A Sincere Apology

Hey guys. I know it's been a while, and I just wanted to let you know it's gonna be a while longer. I feel I owe you an explanation, so here goes:

Basically, I've been let down and put out in just about every way possible in the past year and a half, at least for someone so young. As you know, it started with my one grandpa dying. I was in a pretty bad funk because of that, because I was really close to him. He was probably one of the most genuinely good people in the world. Excuse the bias please. But I loved him, and just as I was getting over his death, and starting my first job, my other grandpa died. In fact, the morning we got the call I was getting ready for my job orientation. (I later got a bloody nose, which made an already bad day worse.) What a great start to summer, amirite? Over the next two months, my great uncle Jeff died too, and I'm 90% sure there was someone else but I have no clue who. To top off the _best_ summer ever, nine days before school started up again, my cat died. So yeah, that sucked. Since then, thankfully no one else in my family has died, but I've been beyond busy with band. You see, we went to london for New Year's Day. And throughout all that chaos, when I hadn't been on my computer in months except for schoolwork, as I was trying to print off a paper for english, it just crashed. When I tried to turn it back on, I just got a black screen with a blinking line. The hard drived crashed, irreparable, and I had to get a completely new one. Which means everything that was on my computer, including all my current and past works and even ideas or references I had jotted down are completely gone. Nothing could be recovered. That was a real blow to my writing spirit.

Basically, I have nothing more than what I've posted here, and what I've shared with my friend Ray. I'll try to spend what little free time I have picking all the pieces of my writing out of the hundreds of messages we've exchanged, but don't expect anything. I'll try to get everything I remember down, but don't expect anything. I'll spend the next few years jotting down my thoughts again, and trying to build up my computer to what it used to be, but _don't expect anything_. I win post anything new for a while probably. I'm sorry to disappoint. I will do my best to keep up my promise and finish my stories, but it might take me a while to even get anything new up. Thank you for your patience, and again, I'm sorry.

-Jazzy


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